Well, it’s that time of the year again. The time when I fuck up everything. I lose motivation to work and shit and I start making bad decisions. I’ve been missing class and going out drinking. I need to stop. Bad. These bad decisions are going to be the death of me… I was thinking in the car on the way home, a fleeting thought really, I should just die. Even now, I concentrate on that word. It calls to me. I long for it. If I can’t get the motivation to be what I want to be, then I should just die at the risk of never being happy.
What is motivation and how do I get me some? Can I just buy a lifetime supply of it from Costco or something? Ha. I wish. I need it though. I don’t know if I ever really had it. If I did, where did it go? Where is it now?
I’m not too sure what else to write right now…