If someone could tell me why you guys follow my blog, that’d be great. I really want to know.
Anywho, I think my antidepressants have been out of my system for too long. I don’t feel happy. But I don’t feel depressed either. Just… Dull.
I also need help with something. I need to write a letter to Sarah. I am going to give her $20 and a letter but I don’t know what to say to her. Any advice? It would help if you read my previous post about what happened. I want to apologize for the way I have been and the way I have made her feel, but I also want her to understand what I’m going through. Well, maybe I should leave that out. Just apologize.
To start, I want to say that I am very sorry. I never wanted to make you feel used by me. I never meant to use you. If I did, I didn’t realize it. Yes, I do love your dogs. However, I love you. I don’t think you understand. You have been my closest, and sometimes my only friend. You have had many best friends over the years. But I have only ever had one. You. You’re not just my best friend, you’re my sister.
I have done some shitty things in the past and said things that have hurt you. Just know, it was never intentional. I don’t hate you for your body, I just wish you could see how amazing it is.
I have never pretended to be your friend. I have done my best to always be there for you when you needed it. And I won’t stop now. I understand you are upset with me, but if the time ever comes that you forgive me for my wrongdoings, I will be here. If you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I’m here.
I’m sorry I brought up the past so much. The things you said and did. I’m very insecure and I can’t seem to let these things go. If I had realized how much it bothered you I would have stopped. I’m just blind when it comes to other people’s feelings. I guess I can be selfish in that way.
We’re growing up and growing apart. That is part of life. I just want you to know that the door is still open, and always will be, if you ever want to come back.
I love you, sis,