So, thanks to my blog, 2 of my friends have now started their own blogs. I feel so…. Stalked. 😄 Nah. I feel special. They enjoyed my blog so much, they felt the need to start their own. I inspired them. Yay!
So… I haven’t been doing well with my class. I really need to write my speech but I need help with it. I can’t get the motivation to do it. And, I didn’t go to class Thursday because it’s not done and I’m not going today for the same reason.
I’ve forgotten to write about something very important. Well, I wouldn’t say “forgotten”, I’d say put-off. I put it off because not so deep down I wish it wasn’t true. I wish it had never happened. I want to believe it won’t last…
My best friend of 15 years refuses to talk to me anymore. She doesn’t want to be friends anymore. I keep fucking up in her eyes and she won’t forgive me. So let me tell you what happened… We were going to have some wine one night after she got off work. So she gave me the money and had me find someone to buy it for us. Well, the only person I knew of lives about an hour away. So I got him to come down here but it was taking to long for her. So before he could even reach us she bailed. She asked if I could get the money to her the next day. I was unable to. The day after that I had school and work so I couldn’t do it then either. Feeling bad, I planned on surprising her by giving her $20 on the third day. Before I could do that, however, she blew up on me. She said I was flaky, unreliable, and a bad friend. On top of all of this, I don’t have my anti-depressants. Needless to say, this hurt. Deep. She brought up things that have apparently been bothering her for a while too. And the things she said really hurt. I love her. She’s my sister. And she hates me. I’d rather not go into detail about what she said, I don’t want to reopen the wounds.
So that happened…. Wednesday was when we were going to drink. Or was it Tuesday? I don’t know anymore. All the days are blurring together lately.
I cried. A lot. Talked to my mom about it, and she made me feel better. She even gave me a few shots of vodka to calm me down. Haha. I love my mom.
Wow… Did I really just say that? Yes. Yes I did. After moving out of her house, our relationship has been so much better. I really do love her. And we had a great heart to heart that night. I think we both needed it.
So, that’s about all I have to write about right now.
Two new bloggers
Missing my best friend
Love my mom