So I cried in therapy yesterday. We really hit a nerve. I wanted to look into my past to see what could have caused some of the issues I have today. I always felt that it had to do with my Grandpa’s death. It seems like I was right. After he died, my grades were slipping, my dad changed, the weight of the world crashed down on me. We think it’s because I never had that caring, sympathetic person in my life that didn’t pressure me or have any standards for me. Well, that person was my grandpa. I feel like I was perfect in his eyes. Then he passed away and suddenly I had pressure on me in every direction with no one to say, “You’re doing fine, don’t worry.” It was always “You have to be like this”, “You have to do that”.
I had no one to support me and comfort me. I lost the only person I felt didn’t judge me. So we hit that nerve. Bad. I cried a lot. She even teared up.
I miss him.