I hate the way I feel when I haven’t taken my meds. And how I treat people. I’m bitchy and grumpy and I get people upset with me.
A little while later:
I feel much better. I got a beer in me. No meds but I was able to talk to my boy and know he’s not mad at me. I hope… Not sure how to feel right now. I’m bored, lonely, idk. He’s out at the bar tonight and I’m staying at his place for a while. I’m so bored. I hope he doesn’t stay out too late. Or drink too much. He’s driving my car! I’m not sure if I’m about to get into a similar situation as I did before. I think I need to make sure I take things slow and remember that I do not live here. Sigh. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I’m not really getting any red flags right now so that is good, right?… But what if I am and I’m just ignoring them? Ugh. Maybe I should stop questioning myself.
So maybe I’m not feeling better. And I should take my meds. But it’s too late today but I have them with me so I can take them tomorrow morning. Maybe then I’ll feel more confident and less insecure. Well only time can tell. We’ll have to wait and see.
There’s not much else to write so I guess I’ll TTYL.