Depression

I think I might be getting depressed again… I’m not sure. I’ve been spending a lot of time in bed lately. I stopped reading again. I need to read… I think it’s due to the fact that I got fired. I have very low motivation to look for a new job even though I know I need to. It’s terrible :/

I need to get my ass in gear. Ugh. By the way, in case I haven’t made this disclaimer yet, my blog is slightly…. what’s the word? Graphic? No…. Um… I had it but now I lost it. NSFW isn’t right either… It’s… Vulgar maybe? Well I’m sure you catch my drift. It’s only because I swear a lot though. That and I have talked about sex.

Anywho. I need to find a new job asap. Ugh. 

Low motivation. Sleeping a lot. Next thing I need to look for is urges. The urge to cut. The feeling that I want to die. But I don’t think I’ll get those. I haven’t in almost a year. I’ve been very good. I’m very proud of myself for how long I’ve gone without self-harming. I can’t break the cycle now just because I lost my job and feel like a complete failure.

Also, I’ve made up my mind about weed. As I think I mentioned before, weed is like medication. It works for some, but other people experience severe side effects. I get those too often than not. Therefore, I am not against smoking weed, I just won’t do it myself. I also feel it needs to be taken in moderation. Those who smoke constantly are abusing it. Those who smoke only occasionally maybe once or twice a day have it right. Idk. That’s just my opinion though.

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5 thoughts on “Depression

  1. That’s definitely signs of becoming depressed again 😦 I think that when you have you job figured out that things will most likely spiral upwards. Try and get your friends to motivate you, it go out one day and have a nice day in this lovely weather!

    I’m sure everything will be fine. x

    • itg3tsb3tter says:

      Well I am seeing a therapist so I’m sure my depression won’t get as bad as it was before. I did already think about self-harming right after I got fired but I easily pushed that thought out of my head which is a very good sign. I just need to buckle down and fill out as many applications as I can right now. Then I’m sure I’ll feel better and more motivated to do more.
      Thanks for your input 😀

  2. russianfootballbeareating says:

    Smoke some sativa

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